Author Topic: This is the forum for bad jokes  (Read 51137 times)

RGMike

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This is the forum for bad jokes
« Reply #15 on: July 26, 2007, 07:50:17 AM »
Quote from: "Alicat"
A Husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf....  "Thirty-five years old and both of you still believe in genies?"


Long live Jambi!
You spin me right 'round, baby, right 'round

Alicat

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Signs
« Reply #16 on: July 27, 2007, 10:52:13 PM »
Sign Sign everywhere a sign
Blocking out the scenery breaking my mind
Do this, don't do that, can't you read the sign


Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:
"Dr. Jones, at your cervix."
**************************
In a Podiatrist's office:
"Time wounds all heels."
**************************
On a Septic Tank Truck:
Yesterday's Meals on Wheels
**************************
At a Proctologist's door:
"To expedite your visit please back in."
**************************
On a Plumber's truck:
"We repair what your husband fixed."
**************************
On another Plumber's truck:
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.."
**************************
On a Church's Billboard:
"7 days without God makes one weak."
**************************
At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee :
"Invite us to your next blowout."
**************************
At a Towing company:
"We don't charge an arm and a leg.  We want tows."
**************************
On an Electrician's truck:
"Let us remove your shorts."
**************************
In a Nonsmoking Area:
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
**************************
On a Maternity Room door:
"Push. Push. Push."
**************************
At an Optometrist's Office:
"If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."
**************************
On a Taxidermist's window:
"We really know our stuff."
 **************************
On a Fence:
"Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!"
**************************
At a Car Dealership:
"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."
**************************
Outside a Muffler Shop:
"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."
**************************
In a Veterinarian's waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
**************************
At the Electric Company
"We would be delighted if you send in your payment.
However, if you don't, you will be."
**************************
In a Restaurant window:
"Don't stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up."
**************************
In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
"Drive carefully. We'll wait."
**************************
At a Propane Filling Station:
"Thank heaven for little grills."
**************************
And don't forget the sign at a
Chicago Radiator Shop:
"Best place in town to take a leak."
Sharks bleed teal.

RGMike

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This is the forum for bad jokes
« Reply #17 on: July 31, 2007, 09:11:44 AM »
as heard on today's KFOG Morning Show...

Q: What did the Deadhead say when he ran out of drugs?

A: Holy crap... this music SUCKS!
You spin me right 'round, baby, right 'round

ggould

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old joke
« Reply #18 on: July 31, 2007, 09:45:15 AM »
Quote from: "RGMike"
as heard on today's KFOG Morning Show...

Q: What did the Deadhead say when he ran out of drugs?

A: Holy crap... this music SUCKS!

Who told this one? Greg?
Don't stand in the way of LOVE!

RGMike

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Re: old joke
« Reply #19 on: July 31, 2007, 09:48:43 AM »
Quote from: "ggould"
Quote from: "RGMike"
as heard on today's KFOG Morning Show...

Q: What did the Deadhead say when he ran out of drugs?

A: Holy crap... this music SUCKS!

Who told this one? Greg?


they gave the setup, and asked Fogheads to provide the punchline and LOTS of people knew it and called in.
You spin me right 'round, baby, right 'round

Lightnin' Rod

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This is the forum for bad jokes
« Reply #20 on: August 30, 2007, 12:44:24 PM »
Haven't seen it, but I was wondering if anyone came up with this headline:

"Burning Man Suffers From Premature Conflagration"
and any fool knows
a dog needs a home
a shelter
from pigs on the wing

RGMike

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This is the forum for bad jokes
« Reply #21 on: August 30, 2007, 12:56:09 PM »
Quote from: "Rod"
Haven't seen it, but I was wondering if anyone came up with this headline:

"Burning Man Suffers From Premature Conflagration"


I coulda sworn Peter said it on the Morning Show yesterday.
You spin me right 'round, baby, right 'round

urth

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This is the forum for bad jokes
« Reply #22 on: August 30, 2007, 03:44:36 PM »
Quote from: "RGMike"
Quote from: "Rod"
Haven't seen it, but I was wondering if anyone came up with this headline:

"Burning Man Suffers From Premature Conflagration"


I coulda sworn Peter said it on the Morning Show yesterday.


It was in Leah Garchik's column this morning, but I don't think she (or her source) made it up.
Let's get right to it.

Lightnin' Rod

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This is the forum for bad jokes
« Reply #23 on: August 31, 2007, 09:18:02 AM »
Quote from: "urth"
Quote from: "RGMike"
Quote from: "Rod"
Haven't seen it, but I was wondering if anyone came up with this headline:

"Burning Man Suffers From Premature Conflagration"


I coulda sworn Peter said it on the Morning Show yesterday.


It was in Leah Garchik's column this morning, but I don't think she (or her source) made it up.


My new idea is for Alannis Morrisette to re-release "Isn't It Ironic" in tribute to this event, like Elton did with "Norma Jean" for Princess Di's death.  Of course, that would mean Alannis has finally figured out irony.
and any fool knows
a dog needs a home
a shelter
from pigs on the wing

RGMike

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Re: This is the forum for bad jokes
« Reply #24 on: January 02, 2008, 11:33:02 AM »
drunk says to the bartender: "Do lemons go cheap?" and the bartender says "Yes, they do". Drunk replies: "Thank gawd -- for a minute I thought I'd squeezed a canary into my drink".
You spin me right 'round, baby, right 'round

Gazoo

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Re: This is the forum for bad jokes
« Reply #25 on: January 11, 2008, 11:50:48 PM »
Joke Musto retold from a sassy drag queen:

Q: Where does Heather Mills work?

A: IHOP.
“The choir of children sing their song.  They've practiced all year long.  Ding dong.  Ding dong.  Ding dong.”

RGMike

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Re: This is the forum for bad jokes
« Reply #26 on: January 12, 2008, 08:17:19 AM »
Joke Musto retold from a sassy drag queen:

Q: Where does Heather Mills work?

A: IHOP.

Bwhahahaha!  Some of the things he says when he guests on Olbermann's show are astounding.
You spin me right 'round, baby, right 'round

Gazoo

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Re: This is the forum for bad jokes
« Reply #27 on: June 20, 2008, 07:26:50 PM »
What do you call a rapper who's been ritually slaughtered in accordance with Islamic law?

Halal Cool J!
“The choir of children sing their song.  They've practiced all year long.  Ding dong.  Ding dong.  Ding dong.”

Gazoo

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Re: This is the forum for bad jokes
« Reply #28 on: July 24, 2008, 10:53:49 AM »
KANSAS GUITARISTS QUIT, JOIN TOTO (AP)
BURBANK, CALIFORNIA - Claiming to be tired of playing "slick, faceless corporate rock", Kansas guitarists Steve Walsh and Kerry Livgren have apparently left that band and joined Toto. By way of greeting his and Walsh's new bandmates, Livgren announced, "Toto, we're not in Kansas anymore!"
“The choir of children sing their song.  They've practiced all year long.  Ding dong.  Ding dong.  Ding dong.”

Gazoo

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Re: This is the forum for bad jokes
« Reply #29 on: July 24, 2008, 10:54:18 AM »
Answerphone message at the Beatles fan club:
"For info on John press 1, for Paul press 2, for George press 3, and for Ringo press the star key."
“The choir of children sing their song.  They've practiced all year long.  Ding dong.  Ding dong.  Ding dong.”