Poll

Bid for crypt above Marilyn Monroe falls through

Laugh
0 (0%)
Cry
1 (12.5%)
Be Creeped Out
1 (12.5%)
huh?
2 (25%)
Hey, Its Hollywood baby
4 (50%)

Total Members Voted: 8

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Author Topic: Funny Stuff on the Internet  (Read 315445 times)

ggould

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another cute dancing bird video
« Reply #615 on: October 08, 2007, 11:04:29 AM »
yeah, yeah, I know, but this one is really good!

http://birdloversonly.blogspot.com/2007/09/may-i-have-this-dance.html

Caution: this bird dances to the Backstreet Boys!
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Don't stand in the way of LOVE!

Gazoo

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« Reply #616 on: October 08, 2007, 10:16:54 PM »
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“The choir of children sing their song.  They've practiced all year long.  Ding dong.  Ding dong.  Ding dong.”

RGMike

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« Reply #617 on: October 09, 2007, 07:58:59 AM »
Quote from: "Gazoo"
Sting tops Blender's "Worst Lyricists" list:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20071008/music_nm/lyricists_dc_1;_ylt=ArJnEII8_YlUg.ycWAXufOYE1vAI


Y'know, we have a "List Thread"... :wink:

speaking of, see the BBC's best/worst duets list there.
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Alicat

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When elephants drink
« Reply #618 on: October 23, 2007, 11:07:57 AM »
Beware rice beer! Elephants have a wild party. Death ensues.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21432722/?GT1=10450#storyContinued
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Gazoo

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Twin Bricks
« Reply #619 on: October 24, 2007, 11:15:14 PM »
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“The choir of children sing their song.  They've practiced all year long.  Ding dong.  Ding dong.  Ding dong.”

princessofcairo

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Re: When elephants drink
« Reply #620 on: October 25, 2007, 03:06:26 AM »
Quote from: "Alicat"
Beware rice beer! Elephants have a wild party. Death ensues.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21432722/?GT1=10450#storyContinued


i gotta get my hands on some of that beer! sounds much better than horse tranqs.
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Lightnin' Rod

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« Reply #621 on: October 31, 2007, 12:50:47 PM »
Not sure how I ended up on the Paul Lynde page at wikipedia, but it includes this:

Hollywood Squares quips by Lynde
Q: You're the world's most popular fruit. What are you?
Lynde: Humble.
Q: What is said to be wasted on the young?
Lynde: A whipping.
Q: What is the most abused and neglected part of the body?
Lynde: Well, mine may be abused but it certainly isn't neglected.
Q: What is a "dual purpose cow?"
Lynde: It gives milk and cookies. But I wouldn't recommend the cookies.
Q: It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics. What is the other?
Lynde: Tape measures.
Q: Why do the Hells Angels wear leather?
Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles so easily.
Q: Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?
Q: When you pat a dog on its head he will usually wag his tail. What will a goose do?
Lynde: Make him bark.
Q: In Alice in Wonderland, who kept crying, "I'm late, I'm late"?
Lynde: Alice. And her mother is sick about it.
Q: Which is better looking, a pixie or a fairy?
Lynde: I'll go for the fairy.
Q: In The Wizard of Oz, the Lion wanted courage and the Tin Man wanted a heart. What did the Scarecrow want??
Lynde: He wanted the Tin Man to notice him.
Q: Who are more likely to be romantically responsive. Women under thirty or women over thirty?
Lynde: I don't have a third choice?
Q: Paul, how many men on a hockey team?
Lynde: Oh, about half.
Q: What would the Lone Ranger always leave behind with the damsel in distress he'd saved?
Lynde: A masked baby!
Q: Why was Nathan Hale hung?
Lynde: Heredity.
Q: Is it normal for Norwegians to talk to trees?
Lynde: As long as that's as far as it goes.
Q: Why do sheep sleep huddled up?
Lynde: Because Little Boy Blue is a weirdo!
Q: Paul, what profession is the most common for prostitutes after they retire?
Lynde: Smuggling.
Q: Does Mark Spitz believe swimming in the nude helps you go faster?
Lynde: Well, it's easier to steer.
Q: Paul, why are forest rangers in remote locations ordering goats as standard equipment?
Lynde: Because the sheep are wising up.
Q: True or false: in the recent world kissing contest in England, two contestants were disqualified when they got too passionate.
Lynde: Yes, but they went on to win in three other categories.
Q: True or false: Paul Revere had sixteen children.
Lynde: From one midnight ride?
Q: You’re equipped with a pick, a sieve, and a shallow pan. What are you about to do?
Lynde: Joan Crawford's eyebrows.
Q: Prehistoric man had two uses for sheep. One was for food. What was the other?
Lynde: Conversation.
Q: What two things should you never do in bed?
Lynde: Point and laugh.
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and any fool knows
a dog needs a home
a shelter
from pigs on the wing

RGMike

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« Reply #622 on: October 31, 2007, 01:00:37 PM »
OMFG, Rod, that's brilliant stuff!
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Lightnin' Rod

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« Reply #623 on: October 31, 2007, 03:05:24 PM »
The world, you know,  can be so, you know, cruel, you know?

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2007/10/31/entertainment/e122109D23.DTL&tsp=1&type=entertainment

Quote
However, she then said: "People talk and they say what they want at the end of the day, you know in the tabloids and in the magazines," she said. "But you just try to keep on doing what you do, like, you know, and as long as you know what's up and you know what's true, that's all that really matters, you know?"
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and any fool knows
a dog needs a home
a shelter
from pigs on the wing

mshray

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« Reply #624 on: October 31, 2007, 03:54:43 PM »
Quote from: "RGMike"
OMFG, Rod, that's brilliant stuff!


Q: Which is better looking, a pixie or a fairy?
Lynde: I'll go for the fairy.

OMG! They actually let him say that on network prime time?
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RGMike

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« Reply #625 on: October 31, 2007, 04:01:00 PM »
Quote from: "mshray"
Quote from: "RGMike"
OMFG, Rod, that's brilliant stuff!


Q: Which is better looking, a pixie or a fairy?
Lynde: I'll go for the fairy.

OMG! They actually let him say that on network prime time?


actually, most of these lines were delivered during the daytime!
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SFGuy

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Funny Stuff on the Internet
« Reply #626 on: November 23, 2007, 01:07:25 AM »
If you like game shows, there is two clips on http://pageoclips.com/ where Name that tune did a holiday gag that wasn't shown on TV (nor meant for kids). Funny stuff and un-PC.
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mshray

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Re: Funny Stuff on the Internet
« Reply #627 on: December 06, 2007, 02:02:49 PM »
More genius from the Onion:

NFL Meteorologists Warn Steaming Black-Guy Heads Occurring Later Every Year

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/nfl_meteorologists_warn_steaming
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"Music is the Earth, People are the Flowers, and I am the Hose."

--Carlos Santana, 2010

RGMike

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Re: Funny Stuff on the Internet
« Reply #628 on: December 06, 2007, 02:15:28 PM »
Quote from: mshray on December 06, 2007, 02:02:49 PM
More genius from the Onion:

NFL Meteorologists Warn Steaming Black-Guy Heads Occurring Later Every Year

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/nfl_meteorologists_warn_steaming

That is hilarious -- I missed that in September, somehow. Thanks.

The Onion was quite good this week, and delightfully tasteless:

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/30_miserable_lives_lost_in

http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/report_nfl_had_previously
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mshray

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Re: Funny Stuff on the Internet
« Reply #629 on: December 06, 2007, 03:41:03 PM »
Quote from: RGMike on December 06, 2007, 02:15:28 PM
That is hilarious -- I missed that in September, somehow. Thanks.

Huh?  that just came out today.
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"Music is the Earth, People are the Flowers, and I am the Hose."

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