OMG BOS Steve Goodman!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I got the egg scrambler, with a Seal-a-Meal carrying case,
A set of presidential commemorative plates
So I could eat my eggs off the President's face,
A Minute Mender, and a needle that'll knit or crochet,
And an autographed photograph of Rin Tin Tin at Six Flags Over Burbank.
I remembered I was dreaming, so I gave a mighty cheer.
When I awoke, it was no joke, 'cause all that shit was here.
So if you fall asleep with the TV on, let me tell you what to do:
Tear the telephone out of the wall unless you want it to happen to you.
You'll get the Vegematic, and the Pocket Fisherman too,
Illuminated illustrated history of life,
And Boxcar Willie with a Ginzu knife,
A bamboo steamer, and a smokeless ashtray too
And an all expenses paid weekend for three at Six Flags Over Burbank.
