We're all gonna rock to the rules that I make -- Election 2008

[RGMike]

Sent to me by a friend:

Dear Red States,

If you manage to steal this election too, we've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and we're taking the other Blue States with us. In case you aren't aware, that includes California, Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of the new country of New California. To sum up briefly:
 
You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states; We get stem cell research and the best beaches.
 
We get the Statue of Liberty; You get Dollywood.
 
We get Intel and Microsoft; You get WorldCom.
 
We get Harvard; You get Ole' Miss.
 
We get 85% of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs; You get Alabama.
 
We get two-thirds of the tax revenue; You get to make the red states pay their fair share.
 
Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22% lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families; You get a bunch of single moms.
 
Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their children's caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq , and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire.

With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80% of the country's fresh water, more than 90% of the pineapple and lettuce, 92% of the nation's fresh fruit, 95% of America's quality wines, 90% of all cheese, 90% of the high tech industry, 95% of the corn and soybeans (thanks Iowa!), most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.
 
With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88% of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92% of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100% of the tornadoes, 90% of the hurricanes, 99% of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100% of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.

We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.

Additionally, 38% of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62% believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the war, the death penalty or gun laws, 44% say that evolution is only a theory, 53% believe that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61% of you crazy bastards believe you are people with higher morals then we lefties.

Finally, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt weed they grow in Mexico

Love,
The Blue States

[RGMike]

http://link.brightcove.com/services/link/bcpid1185304443/bctid1885474357

[Tinka Cat]

this belongs in many categories here (funny stuff on internet, not funny stuff on the internet, let's enjoy youtube while we still can, etc.):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=22yd2efX9SY

I laughed and cried at the same time.

[ggould]

watching on MSNBC now, it's super high quality production values.  Excellent pacing.  Anyone else watching?

[RGMike]

watching on MSNBC now, it's super high quality production values.  Excellent pacing.  Anyone else watching?

I caught the replay at 8.  An impressive package.

[RGMike]

October Surprise? The Alien from the Weekly World News has endorsed McCain:

http://www.weeklyworldnews.com/election-08/october-surprise-alien-endorses-mccain/

[Wayback]

Peter Frampton's Obama signs stolen (Do you feel like we do?):
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2008/10/30/entertainment/e062454D72.DTL&tsp=1

[RGMike]

Peter Frampton's Obama signs stolen (Do you feel like we do?):
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2008/10/30/entertainment/e062454D72.DTL&tsp=1

Peter Frampton lives in the "predominantly Republican Cincinatti suburb of Indian Hill"?  WTF?

[Wayback]

Peter Frampton's Obama signs stolen (Do you feel like we do?):
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2008/10/30/entertainment/e062454D72.DTL&tsp=1

Peter Frampton lives in the "predominantly Republican Cincinatti suburb of Indian Hill"?  WTF?

Yes, he's been there for years. I recall him saying its centrally located to travel around USA and I believe his wife is from there. Has a huge home recording studio.

[urth]

Peter Frampton's Obama signs stolen (Do you feel like we do?):
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2008/10/30/entertainment/e062454D72.DTL&tsp=1

Peter Frampton lives in the "predominantly Republican Cincinatti suburb of Indian Hill"?  WTF?

Yes, he's been there for years. I recall him saying its centrally located to travel around USA and I believe his wife is from there. Has a huge home recording studio.

That's how John Fogarty ended up in Indianapolis. Wife was from there. There's classic rockers scattered far and wide over this great country of ours, not just in LA and NY. (Someone told me DD's John Taylor lives in one of the Portland suburbs, but that just seems too weird.)

ETA: There's at least one great comment to that story: "Evidently someone doesn't feel like he does."

[RGMike]

David Sedaris on undecided voters:

"For as long as I can remember, just as we move into the final weeks of the Presidential campaign the focus shifts to the undecided voters," it begins. "Who are they?" the news anchors ask. 'And how might they determine the outcome of this election?'

"Then you'll see this man or woman -- someone, I always think, who looks very happy to be on TV. 'Well, Charlie,' they say, 'I've gone back and forth on the issues and whatnot, but I just can't seem to make up my mind!' Some insist that there's very little difference between candidate A and candidate B. Others claim that they're with A on defense and health care but are leaning toward B when it comes to the economy.

"I look at these people and can't quite believe that they exist. Are they professional actors? I wonder. Or are they simply laymen who want a lot of attention?

"To put them in perspective, I think of being on an airplane. The flight attendant comes down the aisle with her food cart and, eventually, parks it beside my seat. 'Can I interest you in the chicken?' she asks. 'Or would you prefer the platter of shit with bits of broken glass in it?"

"To be undecided in this election is to pause for a moment and then ask how the chicken is cooked."

[RGMike]

Check out this obituary (it's apparently legit) and make sure you read all the way to the last line:

http://www.legacy.com/statesman/Obituaries.asp?Page=LifeStory&PersonID=119335145

[RGMike]

Best anti-Prop 8 ad I've seen yet: most of the "No On 8" spots have kinda tip-toed around the notion of same-sex marriage, not wanting to be too in-your-face, I guess, for the moderates.  But I just saw one that invokes Japanese internment camps and the fact that interracial marriages were once illegal. And the voice-over is by Samuel L Jackson! It's impressive.

One-liner of the Day from Colbert:  "If you can predict an election based on lawn signs... Our next president will be Re/Max."

[SFGuy]

Say what you want about Fox News (I was checking their website to compare to a few others regarding the projected electoral votes), but on their website they have a very good election tracker where you will be able to get breakdowns by county.

http://elections.foxnews.com/states_map/index.html

[RGMike]

Say what you want about Fox News (I was checking their website to compare to a few others regarding the projected electoral votes), but on their website they have a very good election tracker where you will be able to get breakdowns by county.

http://elections.foxnews.com/states_map/index.html

while we're at it kudos to FOX's Sheppard "Nobody Knows I'm Gay" Smith -- who interviewd Joe the Plumber yesterday. Mr Plumber was a complete moron (look for the clip on You Tube) and repeated his "a vote for Obama is a vote for Death to Israel" idiocy, and Smith looked like his head was going to explode. Smith then went into a lengthy defense of Obama, shaking his head at the stupidity he'd just witnessed.  Bet Rupert cancels his Xmas bonus.