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Author Topic: This is the forum for bad jokes  (Read 52070 times)

Tinka Cat

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Re: This is the forum for bad jokes
« Reply #75 on: May 20, 2013, 03:57:11 PM »
Q: What's brown and sticky?

A: A stick.



Q: What's orange and sounds like a carrot?

A: A parrot.
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RGMike

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Re: This is the forum for bad jokes
« Reply #76 on: September 27, 2013, 08:21:01 AM »
Some music-industry humor:
 
A blind rabbit and a blind snake meet in the forest. The snake slithers up to the rabbit and says: "You are soft, furry and have long floppy ears so you must be a rabbit!" Then the rabbit says: "You are slimy, low to the ground and have no ears --  so you must be an A&R man!"
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dischead

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Re: This is the forum for bad jokes
« Reply #77 on: February 03, 2015, 10:54:47 PM »
Parallel lines have so much in common.
It's a shame they'll never meet.

My wife accused me of being immature.
I told her to get out of my fort.

Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make.
Then they call me ugly and poor.

Someone stole my Microsoft Office and they're gonna pay.
You have my Word.

Apparently, someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds.
Poor bastard.

How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You look for fresh prints.

I went to a really emotional wedding the other day.
Even the cake was in tiers.

We have a genetic predisposition for diarrhea.
Runs in our jeans.

Want to hear a word I just made up?
Plagiarism.

Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don't work.

What did the pirate say when he turned 80?
Aye Matey.

I took the shell off my racing snail, thinking it would make him run faster.
If anything, it made him more sluggish.

Someone stole my mood ring.
I don't know how I feel about that.

I tried to catch fog yesterday.
Mist.

Why does a chicken coop have two doors?
If it had four doors it would be a chicken sedan.

I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
She looked surprised.

I asked my Magic 8 Ball which email client I should use.
It said, "Outlook not good."
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ggould

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Re: This is the forum for bad jokes
« Reply #78 on: February 04, 2015, 10:16:42 PM »
Why don't people eat clocks?

It's too time-consuming.
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Lightnin' Rod

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Re: This is the forum for bad jokes
« Reply #79 on: February 17, 2015, 06:00:56 PM »
These two were my favorites. 

Quote from: dischead on February 03, 2015, 10:54:47 PM

Want to hear a word I just made up?
Plagiarism.

I took the shell off my racing snail, thinking it would make him run faster.
If anything, it made him more sluggish.

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mshray

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Re: This is the forum for bad jokes
« Reply #80 on: February 18, 2015, 11:04:27 AM »
Never trust an atom.
They make up everything.

The word 'gullible' isn't in the dictionary.
See for yourself.
« Last Edit: February 18, 2015, 11:07:33 AM by mshray »
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Big Fingers McGee

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Re: This is the forum for bad jokes
« Reply #81 on: February 18, 2015, 11:18:18 AM »
Quote from: mshray on February 18, 2015, 11:04:27 AM
Never trust an atom.
They make up everything.

Ha! That's in the "so bad it's actually kind of funny" category.
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ggould

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Re: This is the forum for bad jokes
« Reply #82 on: February 23, 2015, 10:08:08 PM »
Quote from: Big Fingers McGee on February 18, 2015, 11:18:18 AM
Quote from: mshray on February 18, 2015, 11:04:27 AM
Never trust an atom.
They make up everything.

Ha! That's in the "so bad it's actually kind of funny" category.

One of my students gave me a coffee mug with that written on it!
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RGMike

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Re: This is the forum for bad jokes
« Reply #83 on: September 29, 2015, 12:51:56 PM »
was looking for soemthing to post for Coffee Day today and found this joke:

Q: What do coffee and Eric Clapton have in common?
A: They both suck without Cream!


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dischead

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Re: This is the forum for bad jokes
« Reply #84 on: September 30, 2015, 10:06:37 AM »
I met a man who had no toes, so I beat him up.

I'm lack-toes intolerant.
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Big Fingers McGee

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Re: This is the forum for bad jokes
« Reply #85 on: September 30, 2015, 10:14:22 AM »
Quote from: RGMike on September 29, 2015, 12:51:56 PM
was looking for soemthing to post for Coffee Day today and found this joke:

Q: What do coffee and Eric Clapton have in common?
A: They both suck without Cream!

TANC: Last night's trivia contest had its 10 songs based on a coffee theme. Included was "Strange Brew" by Cream. I am embarrassed to state that I got it wrong.
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mshray

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Re: This is the forum for bad jokes
« Reply #86 on: October 28, 2015, 12:05:05 PM »
[this works bettter being heard rather than read, but here goes]

What do you call a really short Mexican?

I don't know, what?

A paragraph.

Why?

Because he's too short to be an ese.
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dischead

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Re: This is the forum for bad jokes
« Reply #87 on: September 19, 2016, 05:48:02 PM »
Venison for dinner again?   Oh deer!
 
How does Moses make tea?   Hebrews it.
 
England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .
 
I tried to catch some fog.  Mist.
 
They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a typo.
 
I changed my iPod's name to Titanic.  It's syncing now.
 
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
 
I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.
 
This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
 
When chemists die, they barium.
 
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.   I just can't put it down.
 
I did a theatrical performance about puns.   It was a play on words.
 
I didn't like my beard at first.  Then it grew on me.
 
When you get a bladder infection -- urine trouble.
 
Broken pencils are pointless.
 
I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
 
Velcro - what a rip off!
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RGMike

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Re: This is the forum for bad jokes
« Reply #88 on: November 22, 2016, 11:23:39 AM »
From a current McDonald's commercial:

Dude 1: Please don't tell any of your elevator jokes...

Dude 2: But they work on so many levels!

Oy.
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Lightnin' Rod

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Re: This is the forum for bad jokes
« Reply #89 on: May 11, 2017, 04:13:42 PM »
I just got caught in a click-bait slide show of Star Wars jokes, so I'm only going to post my favorite (they are all pretty lame):

Q. Why did Anakin Skywalker cross the road?
A. To get to the Dark Side.

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